Armor of Irony
by The Light's Refrain
Summary: DRABBLE You know how the saying goes: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. Or that hints aren't scattered along the way. Kouji pre-canon


_Hello everyone! This was originally a drabble from the RANDOM forums, which I polished up and expanded on here for the Digimon Non-Flash Bingo Challenge (prompt: Kouji). Basically, this is Kouji pre-canon, and some of his thoughts while he takes his dog out for a stroll. Oddly straightforward for me, really, and probably something that's been done before, but I hope you find it entertaining regardless._

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Not even a Digimon in a game...or a Digimon game, for that matter..._**

Armor of Irony

" _Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." - Pete Seeger_

Sometimes, Kouji swore he was being watched.

Granted, he knew it was a delusion. Who would bother watching a boy taking his dog for a walk? Or the dog taking _him_ for a walk, as Kouji was suddenly yanked off his feet and fell on his butt. So much for kendo teaching him a good sense of balance and alertness. Whatever.

Maybe it was a cute girl spying on him. He knew a lot of girls at school secretly, or not, drooled over him. He had no interest in getting a girlfriend now though. He was twelve. Dating was stupid stuff teenagers did to be cool. He wanted to be cool, someday…But why was he worried? He was already cool. But if was some giggling schoolgirl, wouldn't they be...well, giggling? He certainly would've heard that.

...He needed to stop creeping himself out over stupid things. Too many creepypastas before bedtime. Creepypastas were lame anyway. As if a cartoon could convince someone to kill themselves. As if a kid could haunt a videogame cartridge and make it go insane. If he were a ghost, he wouldn't haunt a videogame. Though being in a videogame might be pretty cool. Slicing and dicing things with a sword or a lightsaber or whatever. Way better than homework. Or trying to be nice to his stepmom. He should be nice to his stepmom more often. Maybe he should get her flowers or something. Would that be weird?

…Maybe it was his mom's spirit watching over him. Though he had no idea why he would sense her now instead of, well, any other time in his life. His dad always avoided talking about his real mom, and Kouji never understood why. But there were many things he didn't understand about his dad, like why he always told Kouji to watch out for doppelgangers. Why doppelgangers? He might as well look out for dragons, fairies, and polar bears too. Heck, maybe he should carry some mace for stray stag beetles.

Kouji plucked his phone off the ground, which had fallen out of his pocket when he had been jerked off his feet. He didn't know why he bothered having a cellphone: he barely used the thing, except when his dad called. Oh yeah, that's why he had a cellphone, in case of emergencies. Like taking too long to get home from school, or in case monsters fell from the sky or something. He really needed to stop watching so much anime.

…But it would have been nice, to get a call from someone other than his overprotective dad. You know, go out and hang out with other kids after school, the way most kids spend their free time. Doing…what? Kouji didn't even care. Exploring, fighting, camping, who knows. He even settle for roleplaying and D&D at this point. He just needed something to break the silence, the monotony, the mental armor keeping him from seeing or feeling _anything_. He just needed to _break_.

He also needed brakes installed in his dog, as the mutt chased after a black cat. Dragged both physically and mentally back into reality, it was all Kouji could do to hang on and yell at the wild-minded canine to stop. It didn't listen well.

Elsewhere, a silhouette disappeared around the corner unnoticed.

 _IIIIII_

 _Specifically, I was thinking of the scene where Kouichi is watching Kouji walking his dog when writing this, though really this could take place anytime during that time period. Dogs need lots of walks, after all :P._

 _Anyway, hope you enjoyed!_


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